I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
