An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
