Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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