kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
