Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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