The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
