i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
