Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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