Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
