You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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