Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
