He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
one might say we're banned from that church
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
