You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I got inside last night via doggy door
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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