i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
