I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
