I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
