Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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