You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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