I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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