i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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