Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
