His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Someone signed my nipple.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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