I am in a vortex of obligation.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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