Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
