Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
