dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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