I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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