We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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