we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im six kinds of drunk right now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
