His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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