This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
