I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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