I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my being single is dangerous.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
