dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
how drunk are you?
Several
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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