she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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