I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
