Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
