I wish i was in the wii world.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
