I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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