She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
