If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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