"it" just moved
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
