I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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