one two three fourrrrnication!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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