You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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