haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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