There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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