New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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