Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
