Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
